The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
