i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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