I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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