Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
So much Jack, so little girl.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
