I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
organizing the empties. That sober.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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