Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
they need to just BURY HIM!
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
