We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
