please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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