ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
He uses pillows to masturbate.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
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