end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
