Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
she looked like the before picture.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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