Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
