My friends, they love my intelligence
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
