Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
