You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
