Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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