is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
