party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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