Porn is love you can see.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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