yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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