rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
