You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
