have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
