We won't sleep together?
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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