This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
