I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
is this the sara with the beer cane?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
