We're facebook friends in real life
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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