Don't make out with my wife yet
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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