This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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