thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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