We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
