there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
