this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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