Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
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Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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