i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize