shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
