Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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