if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
