i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
only you would photoshop your dick
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
