Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
