i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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