i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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