Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
