Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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