Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
