im drinking this country out of the recession.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
