want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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