I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
