he told me I talked like a deaf person
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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