wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
