Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
