She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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