hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
