if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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