You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Randomize
