You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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