There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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